College Essay by Cami Beauregard
3:42 A.M. Shaking, on the floor. Is that normal? What even is that? I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was nine years old. To me that meant I was special; God blessed me with something that no other kid had. But to the outside world, I was weird.
My childhood revolved around my brain and how it refused to function the right way. I woke up several nights a week swallowing my tongue and collapsing on my knees to the ground. My mind was so occupied by the nighttime, by its seizures, that during the daytime I could not focus. My world was a world of earthquakes. (more…)
“By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” – Franz Kafka
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend, Myles- who also practices TM- and I got into a heated debate about…afterlife. I would like to say that we discussed such a topic while sipping wine and listening to Mozart. Instead, I will admit that this conversation took place over plastic plates of mac n cheese at the kitchen counter of my apartment. Nevertheless, we both became completely engulfed in the age-old question of whether seeing is believing or believing is seeing. He leans heavily towards the former. I relate more closely to the latter. Chaos ensued. Well, not chaos, exactly, unless one can argue that chaos can be constructive, which this conversation most definitely was. Although, to tell the truth, I don’t remember what exactly sparked the debate in the first place, but I do remember some of its overarching points. (more…)
Let me sit in silence
Every little striving quelled by the sound of freedom
Memories? Let’s delete ’em, we don’t need ’em.
Let me be inspired by my heart’s desire when I got tired my brain rewired and my empire slowly crumbled
As empires tend to do because peace is found only in the mind
I hope this world is perfectly timed because then I’d be primed for what’s to come let me feel til I go numb–I don’t need to know everything (more…)
According to Dictionary.com, stubborn is defined as “having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.” My name is Madeline Beauregard, and I am stubborn. As are most defining attributes, my stubbornness is both a virtue and a vice. I have the ability to narrow my focus and become incredibly determined to accomplish a particular goal. I am winningly convincing in arguments about which I am passionate. At my worst, I become remarkably intolerant and overly critical. Lastly and most profoundly, when my mother asks me to do something, I will not, under any circumstances, want to do it. (more…)
At 6:00 am on February 18th 2010, I walked out of my home in the mid-west. It was dark and frigid, three degrees to be exact. I nestled a few last belongings into every spare inch of my little green Corolla, blasted the heater and the mix CD I made for the road trip, and drove west into the icy tundra watching the sun rise in my rear view mirror. Three days later I arrived in sunny Los Angeles to begin the next chapter of the adventure we call life, as a Transcendental Meditation teacher with the David Lynch Foundation. This whole adventure actually started about a month before I was to graduate from college in 2010. I was in an airport in Texas when I received a phone call from David Lynch who said, “Puki, I want you to become a TM teacher and move to Los Angeles.” I responded, “Okay, David, I’ll think about it…” Meanwhile, I was thinking to myself, “Who on earth would ever want to live in LA!?!” (more…)
I’ve found that the best way to be happily creative is to live in the flow of things.
New ideas are wonderful; they inspire us, they get our butts in gear, and they put
our hands to work. Without them, nothing new would ever happen! We’d be frozen
in time, generation after generation… we’d still be monkeys. (more…)
I laid on the floor in my Ayurvedic practitioner’s office as she instructed me to breathe deep into my abdomen. “It’s like you’ve been punched in the gut, you’ve lost your breath.” Tears, inability to breathe deep and her instructions to feel the Earth supporting me. It began here four long years ago, this journey to self-preservation. I had just graduated college, moved back to Michigan from Seattle for an internship at a well known ad agency, and I had ended a seven year relationship diving into the next one with someone who wanted me to remain a…. secret. I lost my breath. I lost my grip. There wasn’t any traction. Dramatic? Yes. It was all drama. I needed help.
I remember that day I stopped and then the day I started again. Stopped having clarity. Started having my artistic visions again. I had become clouded. Overwhelmed. I reached out to Molly Beauregard, my former teacher from the College for Creative Studies (CCS), as a touchstone to who I used to be. Where had I gone? (more…)
I learned TM because my mother made me do it. There are far more romantic and enlightened reasons for learning TM but that is my truth. She organized the class, paid the fee and took care of my two babies while I went off to find some peace. Frankly, I thought my mom was kinda pushy on the subject. And while I was admittedly curious, I probably never would have made it happen on my own. It just didn’t resonate at the time.
Over the years, meditating became something I did cause my mama told me to. I innocently plodded along – awake, asleep, mediate, talk, walk, eat, awake. Sometimes it all felt the same — part of the routine of being alive. (more…)